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Sunday, 21 April 2013

  • Desire

    The burning flames of Desire,

    So arousing and intriguing.

    You have awoken in me a yearning and a fire,

    unbeknownst to my Past.

     

    And now I see

    that if left unchecked,

    How easy it would be

    for You to wreak havoc.

     

    Warm and alluring are You! 

    Your friendship is so inviting.

    But the intimacy You promise and the closeness that You bring can and will consume 

    My whole being.

     

    I welcome You into my life,

    But on my knees I pray

    That You be subservient to

    Truth and Love and not to Chaos and Disorder.

     

    And so I turn to the Creator,

    He made both You and me.

    That He steer this ship away from a potential wreck,

    May He continue to guide US with His unending Mercy.

Saturday, 22 December 2012

  • We're Still Alive!

    Yes, it's true! We're still alive. :o) I realize it's been awhile since I last wrote in my blog so I figured today's the day. I had two dinner plans with my family and later my group Carus. (Shout out to both!) Aced all my classes for last semester and am moving out soon. I am excited for what's to come but just want to take some time to express my gratitude for all of you that have been there every step of the way. Thank you for your Love, understanding, encouragement and prayers. Though I will tend to disconnect on occasion, I still call to mind the many that have come into my life either "for a reason or a season."

    Recently, I finished reading Fr. Ronald Rolheiser's (Oblate of Mary), Among the Lilies. There's a whole chapter on grieving and facing some not so pretty realities such as the loss of a loved one. In this section of his book though, he talks about the Catholic teaching on purgatory. Whether you agree with this teaching or not is well...up to you but humor me for a minute. He talks about needing a more practical understanding of purgatory. To purge is to free yourself from attachments or "lesser loves" so as to embrace a fuller concept of Love. He mentions that this teaching makes sense in light of human relationships and of course, in light of our relationship with our Higher Power. 

    The pain of "breaking up" and having to let go of a relationship is tough! Although the process of "purging" leads to a particular death, it also subsequently leads to a new form of life...or a fuller embracing of what's/who's to come. I am grateful for the way God's moved in my life through the many people, events and creatures (i.e. Buddy!) in the midst of all the "purging" and I do believe that I am more fully prepared for this next part of my journey. Sure, there might be some ambivalence there...there's some grieving to do ya know...this man's gotta fly the coop.

    Cheers to what's to come and may the Spirit of God continue to lead us to a fuller sense of Love. May we gently free ourselves of the lesser loves this Christmas and embrace all that is Love.
     
      

Thursday, 19 April 2012

  • Churning the Batter

    You all know I love my spiritual director (quick shout out to Sr. Barbra, SND). She's been a great source of love and inspiration. After so many appointments with her, what I've taken away is the idea of "churning the batter." This is her way of inviting me to integrate my experiences and be true to whatever feelings might surface. These past few weeks have been about integrating lessons learned from previous intimate relationships and owning the fear that comes with the possibility of a new relationship.

    As I've had to revisit my previous relationships, it has been a wonderful time of reflection. Although unpleasant at times, the truth remains that this has been a source of learning and ultimately a source of Grace. As I wrote to a friend, "It is true! It's so much easier to point out the things that you don't want!" I can write about the many things that went wrong in these previous relationships...I really can (as I am sure these people could do the same when talking about me). However, if I had to sum it all up, I would use one word, "MISUNDERSTANDING." It was all circumstancial and no matter how many times I have tried to play out other possibilities, I have found peace in the idea that we were two people at two places in our lives where understanding was difficult and it strained all the other "what ifs." 

    I still have much that remains from my previous relationship (singular). I will accept that. Much of it, I've yet to sort through. About two months ago, the waterworks (induced by a tremendous amount of Love from a whole community of folks) paved the way for self-forgiveness and some form of healing between us. It was a moment of profound Grace.

    For the time being, accepting that a deep sense of fear related to relationships (mostly related to screwing up, not being fully present, and other shenanigans) remains brings me some resolve.

    One love to you all. :o)

     

Sunday, 20 November 2011

  • A Note On Mental Health

    I've been awfully preoccupied with the question of mental health. So, I've decided to jot down the different thoughts that come to mind regarding mental health.

    Maintaining good mental health is a question of humility and self awareness: knowing when to say 'no' when things don't feel right and being true to my own personal need for space and time alone.

    I've had to hit rock bottom in order to begin to appreciate my mental health.

    I've had to realize that I can't take as much pressure as I used to.

    I am not invincible. There's only so much pressure I can take from my friends and family before I begin to mentally cave in.

    I used to think that I could satisfy those closest to me. I often compromised my mental health to do this. I've come to understand that I am limited by my need for good mental health.

    I used to think that keeping my employer happy was worth compromising my good mental health. I was wrong.

    My struggle with depression and schizoaffective disorder is real. (Here's the wikipedia link for more basic information on schizoaffective disorder: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoaffective_disorder)

    I've got to be mindful that this disorder affects those around me. I will tend to isolate mostly from friends when I'm having episodes.

    I will tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to finish tasks and fulfill friendship obligations. I have a soft place for those of my friends that are patient with me. This is much more helpful than exerting extra pressure.

    I will add to this list as related thoughts come to mind.


Wednesday, 02 November 2011

  • For the Record

    Just recently I hung out with my buddy Brian and we began discussing some serious matters. The question came up, "What do people really think of me?" Before you go on thinking, "What the heck do others care! I do what I want!" I will say that I personally take to heart other people's opinions. After I have heard the opinions of others, I will generally retreat and do some reflection.  

    The response I got from my buddy is that other people feel that I have lacked a sense of direction over the last two years. Here's my response to that statement:

    These last two years have been crucial in my developmental growth. Much of my "time to save the world" attitude has been tempered with the everyday realities of life. While I am still excited about serving, I find that it's the little ways that fulfill my heart's desires for service. For example, helping out with Confirmation at St. Callistus for two years was a grace-filled endeavor! There was much that I learned from having been a part of it. I was a sponsor for two confirmandees and many of the students allowed me to touch their hearts in many of the same ways that they touched mine.

    Furthermore, during these last 2 years, I completed the 19th annotation. I would say that this was very much instrumental in my faith life. Because of this experience, I discovered a God that is real...of flesh and bone. I discovered that God is first and foremost love...in spite of what others might say. (i.e. God is just. God is faithful. God is vengeful or wrathful.) I experienced that kind of love through my spiritual director Sr. Barbra. I walked out of that experience with a real kind of transformation.

    These last two years were to be a time of R & R (rest and relaxation) coupled with service (Contradictory? Not at all.) During my years in undergraduate, I pushed myself to new levels of thinking and seeing the world. I would say I pushed myself a little too hard. I don't regret any of it. However, I do acknowledge that the remnants of it all remained way after it was said and done.

    It must also be said that during this time I feared the worst: the deterioration of my mental health. I had an experience unlike any I've ever been through. Yes, I had a nervous breakdown. In trying to comply with the company I was working for (Courtyard by Marriott), I was pushed to the edge. There are some details that I will spare in this entry. However, I will say this, I was not happy by the treatment and constant state of disapproval that me and my coworkers endured. It is not healthy to work for a company that creates such a toxic environment. For this reason, I suffered an episode of extreme paranoia and was thus hospitalized for nearly a month and a half. I don't at the moment wish to disclose much more about this recent happening. This experience helped me to understand what I'm really willing to tolerate from an employer. Boundaries! There's something that sticks out at me today, "You either learn to adapt to the company's culture or you leave," explained my mentor Dr. Steve. Due to the circumstances and the constant violation of boundaries, I had no choice but to resign.

    Yes, it's been an action packed two years. As for future plans, I've finally decided to go back to grad school. Yup, you heard me right! It took the aforementioned to kick start me into action. Master's in Saving the World, here I come. ;o) I'm referring to the M.S.W. that will follow my name in three years. So that's that for now.

    In the meantime, I'm applying to different jobs looking for full-time employment (This is where you come in. ;o) HAHA!) and applying to grad school.

    Sending you all much love. May you experience the love of God so fully in your everyday life.

nharmny

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    • Name: Hugo
    • Birthday: 3/26/1987
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 1/10/2007

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About Me

  • I have hope, faith, and sometimes I sense that I lack Love. I long to experience Love more fully in my life. I rely on God's grace to get me through the day. I would say that I used to live in a more theoretical and abstract world but I'm slowly allowing myself to live in the more concrete present. I was probably the most idealistic person in town. During the last 4 years, I learned quite a bit about spiritual development and I longed to put it all into practice...but the truth is I might have been a bit afraid to have all of my ideals shattered...so I worked really hard to protect myself from this possibility. I wanted to live in my own little idealistic bubble...that didn't last for too long. It was impossible to keep up. So, now, I guess you can say I'm just allowing myself to experience God and God's people as they are...no longer boxing them in. I thought ministry work would allow me to put into practice all that I had learned but the truth is...boy it's just so much harder to con

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  • Jamieliza
    Hi... I wanted to share a short poem with you... its less that 2 minutes, please, view it at your leisure... http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=wJuilB4AoSU http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-am-blessed/id484802912?i=484802924 Feel free to check out my website at: www.wix.com/jamiehardges/wilde-orchi
  • anonymous
    Where: Thorton Park When: 2007 When God brought us to each other. (imported from memories)